A 5-year dilemma

How often do we find ourselves on the losing side? 

Easter Sunday – a wonderful day to celebrate Lord Jesus’s triumph over death and a good chance to hang out with your friends and family members, but also a day when people tend out their inner furies as it happens on such occasional family get-together. But, even before the drama begins, one can find people happily wishing each other, clicking pictures and chatting a dozen after the mass has ended.

My family, comprising of my sisters and brother, made our way to a restaurant to break our Lenten observance of abstinence from non-vegetarian food. It was a good time as we tucked ourselves into Chicken chilly, chicken patiala, prawn crispy and chicken tikka biryani, while sitting next to a table occupied by another Christian family of six, who seemed busy in enjoying the Chinese dishes served. The world was at peace.

Until, a thought floated in my head as we made our way back home.

It has now been four years since my dear father departed from life. Sailing from one storm to another, we have managed to survive and support each other over the course of these years gone by. All because of God’s grace, we managed to complete our graduation, find jobs and pay our bills on time. In all this time, I did not realize when I went from 20 to 24.

Yet, sometimes, we end up quarreling and shouting at each other. We squabble at the silliest of things and fuss over the inappropriateness of stuff lying around. Most of the times, it is me who is the grumpy cat. My siblings complain how my lack of humour is the bone of contention, in an otherwise funny atmosphere.

But, all those who have to don on the cap of being the ‘elder’ in the house would relate to my dilemma. You have to become the constant complainer, the one who has to be the realist and constantly make them realize the harshness of the real world. We have to constantly remind them not to stay in the comfort zone and push themselves.

This is where I received flak from them.

While riding back home, I thought where we are going to be. Where are our lives headed to? It is the same existential crisis (prone in old people, an indicator of me getting older once again) faced by millions worldwide. To make them aware of my thoughts, I asked both of them to come back to me with a 5-year-plan as to where do they see themselves in 2021. The idea behind this was to make sure that they don’t settle down and get comfortable in their current jobs and try to push the envelope when it comes to their personal and professional lives.

I was also inspired by the concept of love I came across in the book ‘The Alchemist’ where the author points out if you love someone, you will never hold them back in fulfilling their destiny. You would rather end up helping them in achieving it.

Needless to say, the concept was criticised by both, who thought my expectations were too much and impossible for them to state their future goals just like that. They both thought they would like to discover their lives and go with the flow as they were quite confident that plans never work out.

Maybe I was indeed expecting too much. Or maybe I was not able to pitch my concept clearly across. But, I can’t help it. In my haste to worry about our futures, I forgot how young minds actually work. Maybe I need to see things from their perspective and place myself on the receiving end of a question like that. Or I could be completely wrong and they actually have set goals for themselves.

Nevertheless, no matter what the future has in store for us, I can sleep a little peacefully that my father raised my siblings to at least speak their minds out and not be cowards.