The Selfish One - 2

I will be free, before the end

The wind roaring in his ears; the smell of seawater; the splash of the waves against the concrete pillars below; the glow of the full moon – all which faded away as Wilson closed his eyes for the last time.

He climbed on the wet railings. It started raining heavily. It looked like the sky was trying to stop him. 

‘I’m sorry dad, I’m sorry mom, I have to do this’

He exhaled and stood upright. The moment had arrived at last. The wind howled around him. His entire body went numb.

Do it…

Do it…

Do it…

Let go…

Jump!!

POOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

The sound of the horn screeched the air. His heart skipped several beats and seemed to fail. He recoiled in horror and fell painfully on the side-walk. The horn continued to blare deafeningly. A pair of car headlights illuminated the surroundings.

His head and buttocks throbbed painfully. He could hear footsteps getting closer. Any moment now, those people would accost him and prevent him from committing suicide. His final act of escape would be foiled by them. 

He couldn’t let that happen. He took him his entire strength to hold on to the railings and stand up. The footsteps quickened and he could hear them shouting. Men, screaming in Marathi! The feeling of numbness was replaced by fear.

He was about to climb over again when a pair of hands pulled him back roughly. He felt his body turn forcefully; his mind screaming in protest, his body too weak to protest and fight off. His glasses had fallen on the ground and hence, he couldn’t see his assailant.

“Kay kartoos vedya? (What are you doing, you mental?)” yelled the person holding him, gruffly.

He found his voice at last. The initial shock wore away now. He tried to push the man back but got slapped in return. The force of his attacker’s hand was so strong that he felt his body flying and hitting the railing.

The next moment – a sharp shoot of pain near his right temple and the feeling of drowning as the lights extinguished and the darkness engulfed him.

----------

He was lying on his back on a floor of metal, his legs placed awkwardly. He kept his eyes closed, not moving and alerting the men nearby. The smell of burnt tobacco lingered in the air. Someone was smoking inside the van. Although accustomed to a cigarette smoke, he wasn’t to that of a beedi and coughed.

The men stared at him and realized that he was awake. Wilson realized that there was no point in pretending now. He sat up and looked around.

The men who had stopped him from jumping in the sea were policemen. He had realized that the moment he heard the shouts in Marathi. From the voices, he counted four men. Although he was not afraid of them, it was that one particular voice that made his hair stand on end for he had heard that voice before.

It was the same guy who had questioned him earlier in the night!

“Kay rey?!” he said gruffly, “What were you doing out there?”

Wilson kept quiet. He did not know how to react. From the entire police force, he got caught by the same policeman twice! Tonight, his luck was not with him.

“Tell me, what you were doing on the sea-link?” said the officer. Wilson realised that it was a rhetoric question and knew perfectly well that the officer was playing with him. 

To buy time, he replied, “You know it, officer. Why waste time in questioning me?”

“Bagha, Bagha, hey gaadvyacha attitude la bagha!” he said angrily to his other officers, “Do you know that by law, I’m allowed to arrest you. Suicide is a crime as per the Indian law. Tell me, what happened and I’ll go easy on you.”

“Why officer?” asked Wilson, trying to sound sarcastic, “You all know that I was going to jump. Why did you stop me? You could have saved yourself from this mess and enjoyed the night, couldn’t you? I guess you followed me from the Talao.”

The officer looked at Wilson grimly. His face contorted in fury. He wanted to slap Wilson but controlled his rage.

“You know what your problem is?” he spat, “Like all young people, you think that your world has ended! You think that you have tried everything and there is no way out from your problems. What is your age??!! 22?? 23?? And do you think, you have lived your life completely? What is it? What is bothering you? Financial problem? Girlfriend issues? Job? Son, this is not the end! Life has much to offer.”

Wilson broke down. The officer was startled by the sight of his tears. The silence of the van was only broken by the sound of the raindrops pattering the rooftop. 

“What happened?” asked the guy sitting to Wilson’s left.

“You just reminded me of someone,” sobbed Wilson.

“Ok,” said the officer relieved, “Please stop crying! You are not a sissy. Tell us, what happened and we may try to help you out.”

  Wilson thought hard. The officer’s outburst felt personal and touched a nerve in him. He reminded him of his dad, shouting and berating him for his well-being. He stared in the eyes of the officer. Their eyes met and all he could see was genuine empathy. He didn’t know whether the officer would help him or chastise him. 

But could this officer help to silence the entity in him? Would he help him get rid of his personal demons that provoked him to take this drastic step? He looked into the officer’s eyes again. He wanted a solution to his problem and most importantly, he wanted to get rid of the title bestowed on him.

With everyone’s eyes upon him, he took a deep breath and began in a clear ringing voice,

“I am the selfish one!”

(To be continued)